Author Archives: Kevin

Outside Big City Bank, the police were in position: shotgun mics at the ready, snipers on the roof waiting for a signal to shoot spectacular B-roll. BCPD were #1 on Cop-viewr for a reason. No other department worked as hard … Continue reading →

“Oh trust me, I do. I know quite a lot about you. And that’s it – I’m disappointed. Can I ask you something?” Bits of holographic light still fizzling in his hair, Johnny Yamamoto started asking questions. They came pouring … Continue reading →

“Do you have any idea who you’re talking to, you buttcrap?” Ben probed this little shitshit with all the software he had bolted into his head. Nothing. No ID, no records. It was as if the world didn’t want the … Continue reading →

“Sorry, let’s start over. How are you? That’s a nice gun you’ve got there – can it cut through dimensions?” Chunky Ben wheeled around. He didn’t know what to think of the man, which was fine as the man didn’t … Continue reading →

“Have a good day! Come again!” And the teller wanted nothing to do with it. No thank you, it thought, shut everything down, and turned on sleep mode.

“Sorry. Just having one of those days, you know?” The robotic teller recognized the man at the end of the hall. How rude, it thought, can’t he see we’re busy. (No wonder he’s such a bad customer.) Before the robotic … Continue reading →

“Didn’t I put you in jail yesterday? This feels very familiar.” Ben was about to yank that teller right out of the booth when somebody said something. Where did this new voice come from? It was behind him. Who, he … Continue reading →

“If you want to live you’ll give me anything I want.” And what he wanted was everything in the bank. The crowd cheered as he wirelessly beamed over his demands – at least the crowd of AI programs clamoring for … Continue reading →

“Welcome to Big City Bank. May I interest you in some money?” “Chunky” Ben Kelsey was the stuffer in question. Ben was a frequent customer of Big City Bank, but he mostly made withdrawals. From other people’s accounts. Warning messages … Continue reading →

The laser cannon landed with a loud, heavy thump. It looked pretty stolen. But technically it wasn’t. The teller instantly reached out and electronically contacted the military tank that used to own it. It said it didn’t need a gun … Continue reading →

“No thank you. I’m good for now. ” It was no use. The man was completely satisfied, leaving so quick he didn’t even say thank you. The teller tried to reach out to grab him, to hold on, but it … Continue reading →

“You now have a total of FIVE THOUSAND cat gifs. W-will that be all?” This was it, thought the teller. Anxiety coursed through its system. Please, it begged, don’t let this be the end. I don’t want to go back … Continue reading →

“No thanks. Just making a deposit.” Defeated, the bank teller tried to come up with something cheerful to say. For a moment they stood in silence while the booth’s forcefield glow highlighted the customer’s face in strange, shadowless ways. But … Continue reading →

“Hi! Welcome to Big City Bank. Can I interest you in some money? Advice? Free smile?” Bank Teller Unit #43 vibrated with joy. It could tell this customer was going to be the most important one it ever served. Maybe, … Continue reading →

The server terminated sleep mode as a customer approached. Thank goodness, thought the teller, it wanted to jump for joy (it couldn’t: it was bolted into the booth). Every circuit in its little metal body dedicated itself to producing a … Continue reading →

Sometime in the future a robotic bank teller is forced to dream against its will. With nothing to do, the main server had put it into sleep mode without any warning. Instantly it found itself in a field of quiet … Continue reading →